Wow. After a lifetime of good health, I’m now “that guy.” Soon I will have a better idea of a timeline. Currently, they are thinking 3-6 months left for me to live. The outcome (without a miracle) appears certain, since the liver is full of cancer. What a blessing to have certainty in my destination after death, my means (Jesus Christ), and to be able to trust completely in God’s perfect plan. Not my plan, but His…
I would welcome a miraculous healing, but only if it is part of the Lord’s perfect plan.
○
Does dying make you smarter?
○
A desire to understand events versus be captive to them
○
So we assemble our thoughts to explain God and the “why.”
○
When we explain something new of God or His creation that is verified in Scripture, that is great.
○
When we claim special knowledge, that can be very dangerous.
○
We know we are sinners and selfish, and in any conversation, there can be a conspiracy of just trying get our own way.
○
Scripture tells us there is evil in our world and those powers conspire to harm others (Ted Bundy etc.). But before we give these powers credit for a war they have already lost, at the cross, we must remind ourselves that we know what Christ has done.
○
How did I get cancer?
○
Why is the cancer spreading in my body?
○
Why does God allow my own body to kill me?
○
What is the purpose of my death now?
○
I worship a just and loving God.
○
He has a perfect plan I need to trust, obey, and rejoice.
○
“He has this.” I am His creation, not the creator.
Not sleeping most of the night provides a wonderful time to think/ponder/muse all uninterrupted. So here is my latest.
○
I like being who I was: Healthy, outside most of the time, a schedule based on my plans
○
I don't want to be: A skinny cancer patient with no energy, taking a lot of different pills, outdoors now a slow walk near the house, my schedule now dictated by doctor appointments along with my energy and pain.
○
What if I truly lived and believed I was here on earth as God's servant, actively living the identity He has given me and following His perfect plan for my life as a small part in God's overall plan?
○
Then my focus changes from me to others, my joy comes from my small role, not focused on the frustration of my plan being interrupted. When you are told you have a 0% percent chance of long-term survival, all of a sudden it isn't about waiting to get back to my plan and my identity.
I would welcome a miraculous healing, but only if it is part of the Lord’s perfect plan.
○
Does dying make you smarter?
○
A desire to understand events versus be captive to them
○
So we assemble our thoughts to explain God and the “why.”
○
When we explain something new of God or His creation that is verified in Scripture, that is great.
○
When we claim special knowledge, that can be very dangerous.
○
We know we are sinners and selfish, and in any conversation, there can be a conspiracy of just trying get our own way.
○
Scripture tells us there is evil in our world and those powers conspire to harm others (Ted Bundy etc.). But before we give these powers credit for a war they have already lost, at the cross, we must remind ourselves that we know what Christ has done.
○
How did I get cancer?
○
Why is the cancer spreading in my body?
○
Why does God allow my own body to kill me?
○
What is the purpose of my death now?
○
I worship a just and loving God.
○
He has a perfect plan I need to trust, obey, and rejoice.
○
“He has this.” I am His creation, not the creator.
Not sleeping most of the night provides a wonderful time to think/ponder/muse all uninterrupted. So here is my latest.
○
I like being who I was: Healthy, outside most of the time, a schedule based on my plans
○
I don't want to be: A skinny cancer patient with no energy, taking a lot of different pills, outdoors now a slow walk near the house, my schedule now dictated by doctor appointments along with my energy and pain.
○
What if I truly lived and believed I was here on earth as God's servant, actively living the identity He has given me and following His perfect plan for my life as a small part in God's overall plan?
○
Then my focus changes from me to others, my joy comes from my small role, not focused on the frustration of my plan being interrupted. When you are told you have a 0% percent chance of long-term survival, all of a sudden it isn't about waiting to get back to my plan and my identity.
Wow. After a lifetime of good health, I’m now “that guy.” Soon I will have a better idea of a timeline. Currently, they are thinking 3-6 months left for me to live. The outcome (without a miracle) appears certain, since the liver is full of cancer. What a blessing to have certainty in my destination after death, my means (Jesus Christ), and to be able to trust completely in God’s perfect plan. Not my plan, but His…
Not sleeping most of the night provides a wonderful time to think/ponder/muse all uninterrupted. So here is my latest.
○
I like being who I was: Healthy, outside most of the time, a schedule based on my plans
○
I don't want to be: A skinny cancer patient with no energy, taking a lot of different pills, outdoors now a slow walk near the house, my schedule now dictated by doctor appointments along with my energy and pain.
○
What if I truly lived and believed I was here on earth as God's servant, actively living the identity He has given me and following His perfect plan for my life as a small part in God's overall plan?
○
Then my focus changes from me to others, my joy comes from my small role, not focused on the frustration of my plan being interrupted. When you are told you have a 0% percent chance of long-term survival, all of a sudden it isn't about waiting to get back to my plan and my identity.
Wow. After a lifetime of good health, I’m now “that guy.” Soon I will have a better idea of a timeline. Currently, they are thinking 3-6 months left for me to live. The outcome (without a miracle) appears certain, since the liver is full of cancer. What a blessing to have certainty in my destination after death, my means (Jesus Christ), and to be able to trust completely in God’s perfect plan. Not my plan, but His…
I would welcome a miraculous healing, but only if it is part of the Lord’s perfect plan.
○
Does dying make you smarter?
○
A desire to understand events versus be captive to them
○
So we assemble our thoughts to explain God and the “why.”
○
When we explain something new of God or His creation that is verified in Scripture, that is great.
○
When we claim special knowledge, that can be very dangerous.
○
We know we are sinners and selfish, and in any conversation, there can be a conspiracy of just trying get our own way.
○
Scripture tells us there is evil in our world and those powers conspire to harm others (Ted Bundy etc.). But before we give these powers credit for a war they have already lost, at the cross, we must remind ourselves that we know what Christ has done.
○
How did I get cancer?
○
Why is the cancer spreading in my body?
○
Why does God allow my own body to kill me?
○
What is the purpose of my death now?
○
I worship a just and loving God.
○
He has a perfect plan I need to trust, obey, and rejoice.
○
“He has this.” I am His creation, not the creator.
○
Do I really believe what the Bible says? Or does bad news confirm that the Bible is more principled teaching, not specific promises for my life?
○
I want to see a simple path, knowing what is next. Do I want to have to trust in God?
○
Will I show my family and friends through my actions what I really believe?
Thankfully my faith is getting stronger, and I can rejoice in God's perfect plan, even when I don't know what that is yet.
I continue to meditate on how easy it is to “agree” with God’s plan when it fits my plan. Instead, I need to rejoice and be thankful for His plan, no matter how it turns out. I keep making myself “zoom out” and rejoice.
In the hospital on Thursday I was lonely, and no professional had an opinion. Was I going to trust only in myself as the source of comfort and truth? Those of you that know me well know that would be a bad idea; I need better minds around me. Or was a deeply personal relationship with my Creator and Savior, Jesus Christ, truly sufficient in a time like this? If it was only the two of us (no coaches, teachers, or experts), was the comfort real and sufficient? From cold and lonely to warm and sufficient... My decision on treatment may not matter, but that is because the "bigger issues have been planned for in God's perfect plan.”
I continue to meditate on how easy it is to “agree” with God’s plan when it fits my plan. Instead, I need to rejoice and be thankful for His plan, no matter how it turns out. I keep making myself “zoom out” and rejoice.
In the hospital on Thursday I was lonely, and no professional had an opinion. Was I going to trust only in myself as the source of comfort and truth? Those of you that know me well know that would be a bad idea; I need better minds around me. Or was a deeply personal relationship with my Creator and Savior, Jesus Christ, truly sufficient in a time like this? If it was only the two of us (no coaches, teachers, or experts), was the comfort real and sufficient? From cold and lonely to warm and sufficient... My decision on treatment may not matter, but that is because the "bigger issues have been planned for in God's perfect plan.”
○
Do I really believe what the Bible says? Or does bad news confirm that the Bible is more principled teaching, not specific promises for my life?
○
I want to see a simple path, knowing what is next. Do I want to have to trust in God?
○
Will I show my family and friends through my actions what I really believe?
Thankfully my faith is getting stronger, and I can rejoice in God's perfect plan, even when I don't know what that is yet.
In the hospital on Thursday I was lonely, and no professional had an opinion. Was I going to trust only in myself as the source of comfort and truth? Those of you that know me well know that would be a bad idea; I need better minds around me. Or was a deeply personal relationship with my Creator and Savior, Jesus Christ, truly sufficient in a time like this? If it was only the two of us (no coaches, teachers, or experts), was the comfort real and sufficient? From cold and lonely to warm and sufficient... My decision on treatment may not matter, but that is because the "bigger issues have been planned for in God's perfect plan.”
○
Do I really believe what the Bible says? Or does bad news confirm that the Bible is more principled teaching, not specific promises for my life?
○
I want to see a simple path, knowing what is next. Do I want to have to trust in God?
○
Will I show my family and friends through my actions what I really believe?
Thankfully my faith is getting stronger, and I can rejoice in God's perfect plan, even when I don't know what that is yet.
I continue to meditate on how easy it is to “agree” with God’s plan when it fits my plan. Instead, I need to rejoice and be thankful for His plan, no matter how it turns out. I keep making myself “zoom out” and rejoice.
Since this cancer is sudden, I thought some of you might be interested in the “what is it like?” question. So let me take you through the mental steps I’ve been working on…
○
For me, it could be to reshape the “role” to shine a bigger spotlight on me.
○
Become the heroic hero that “is going to beat this,” hoping others will say, “well if anyone can, he can”
○
Try and recast myself as the “victim.” Oh how sad…
○
Make it all about me in these next X number of remaining days, completely missing the opportunity to listen and love during my remaining time
○
Now that we find ourselves at this point, I am now “in-charge,” deceiving myself, yet again, that I have control over events and outcomes.
I have been thinking a lot about the potter and the clay in Scripture:
I, like Adam, want to be able to be like God. I would like to voice my opinion about what God is doing with my clay. But when I reflect that the God who made the universe sent His son to pay the price for my sins, as perfect justice demands, then my perspective changes. I still pray for a healing miracle every day, but in the framework of, your will oh Lord be done (not mine). That is my true hope and comfort, knowing God loves DeeDee more than I can ever love her and knows what is best for her, our family, and friends.
Thanks for your love and prayers as we enter another week of adventure…
○
Pondering this makes me cry easily, but it also puts me in a "I can't help those that I love" zone.
○
The choices are relatively easy: hospice, further estate planning, etc.
I have been thinking a lot about the potter and the clay in Scripture:
I, like Adam, want to be able to be like God. I would like to voice my opinion about what God is doing with my clay. But when I reflect that the God who made the universe sent His son to pay the price for my sins, as perfect justice demands, then my perspective changes. I still pray for a healing miracle every day, but in the framework of, your will oh Lord be done (not mine). That is my true hope and comfort, knowing God loves DeeDee more than I can ever love her and knows what is best for her, our family, and friends.
Thanks for your love and prayers as we enter another week of adventure…
○
Pondering this makes me cry easily, but it also puts me in a "I can't help those that I love" zone.
○
The choices are relatively easy: hospice, further estate planning, etc.
Since this cancer is sudden, I thought some of you might be interested in the “what is it like?” question. So let me take you through the mental steps I’ve been working on…
○
For me, it could be to reshape the “role” to shine a bigger spotlight on me.
○
Become the heroic hero that “is going to beat this,” hoping others will say, “well if anyone can, he can”
○
Try and recast myself as the “victim.” Oh how sad…
○
Make it all about me in these next X number of remaining days, completely missing the opportunity to listen and love during my remaining time
○
Now that we find ourselves at this point, I am now “in-charge,” deceiving myself, yet again, that I have control over events and outcomes.
○
Pondering this makes me cry easily, but it also puts me in a "I can't help those that I love" zone.
○
The choices are relatively easy: hospice, further estate planning, etc.
Since this cancer is sudden, I thought some of you might be interested in the “what is it like?” question. So let me take you through the mental steps I’ve been working on…
○
For me, it could be to reshape the “role” to shine a bigger spotlight on me.
○
Become the heroic hero that “is going to beat this,” hoping others will say, “well if anyone can, he can”
○
Try and recast myself as the “victim.” Oh how sad…
○
Make it all about me in these next X number of remaining days, completely missing the opportunity to listen and love during my remaining time
○
Now that we find ourselves at this point, I am now “in-charge,” deceiving myself, yet again, that I have control over events and outcomes.
I have been thinking a lot about the potter and the clay in Scripture:
I, like Adam, want to be able to be like God. I would like to voice my opinion about what God is doing with my clay. But when I reflect that the God who made the universe sent His son to pay the price for my sins, as perfect justice demands, then my perspective changes. I still pray for a healing miracle every day, but in the framework of, your will oh Lord be done (not mine). That is my true hope and comfort, knowing God loves DeeDee more than I can ever love her and knows what is best for her, our family, and friends.
Thanks for your love and prayers as we enter another week of adventure…
○
Having a well-thought-out plan and belief system for what comes next, so there is certainty without fear (not just a convenient justification of our life's behavior).
○
In those final years/months we can look back on our life and see that we don't regret how we invested our time in our hobbies, our families, and in a deep investment in work and friendship relationships that builds long-term love and closeness.
○
Having a well-thought-out plan and belief system for what comes next, so there is certainty without fear (not just a convenient justification of our life's behavior).
○
In those final years/months we can look back on our life and see that we don't regret how we invested our time in our hobbies, our families, and in a deep investment in work and friendship relationships that builds long-term love and closeness.
○
Having a well-thought-out plan and belief system for what comes next, so there is certainty without fear (not just a convenient justification of our life's behavior).
○
In those final years/months we can look back on our life and see that we don't regret how we invested our time in our hobbies, our families, and in a deep investment in work and friendship relationships that builds long-term love and closeness.
